Note: This stream-of-consciousness post was written over a year ago during a flurry of caffeinated drinks. The events are now somewhat dated, but the feeling remains the same….
I’m restless beyond belief….
Maybe it was the Coke I stole from the fridge coupled with the iced coffee from 7/11… which followed the hot coffee from earlier.
Or maybe it’s the fact that the excitement of moving to Southern California is starting to wear off. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here… but the newness and novelty of it all is fading away now that I’ve found a groove with work and whatnot.
Clearly, Stampabout is my main driving force right now, but with Chad dealing with his engagement and a wedding in four months and Paul trying to edit and salvage a few terribly shot hunting shows for NBC Sports to earn his pay, the throttle has been pulled back a bit.
So I need something to do. I’m starting to make some videos of my new music, but I’m growing impatient with my subpar recording skills. I also may have bit off more than I can chew by setting up an assortment of five cameras to capture it. (Editing five camera angles from five different types of cameras by one’s self is a difficult feat.)
Maybe it’s the fact that its absolutely beautiful outside and everything I want to work on involves sitting in my room. Bedrooms are a haven for restlessness.
I swear, if I refresh Facebook one more time….
It also doesn’t help that I stare at a world map in my bedroom every morning when I wake up and then a world map above my desk at work. Then I look up all the cool places I want to go and stumble upon all the places people on the Internet have already been.
Sometimes there’s a fine line between motivation and bitter jealousy. The key is to realize, “Hey, they did it… so can you.” Walk your freaking talk, Jacob, don’t throw a pity party for yourself….
So I want to travel the world. Instead of dreaming about it like its some unattainable goal–even though I’m currently staring at the accounts of hundreds of people who have already done it–I should probably do something about it.
I just looked up this book. Consider it bought.
So when? Let’s say, “by January 31st, 2014, if I’m not already traveling the world via Stampabout or something else, I need to just go and travel it.” Enough excuses.
Just vomited stomach butterflies. They taste like a mix of fear and excitement.
So, on January 31st, 2014… what will I be giving up?
- A 1984 Honda Magna I just bought to save on gas and to look cool.
- Gas and looking cool, in general.
- A car that needs to be sold anyway.
- A daily commute.
- $700+ in rent and utilities.
- A lot of crap I don’t need, can put in storage, or sell on eBay.
- Job #1
- Job #2
- Job #3
- Job #3.5
- Social network oppression
- Watching Cleveland sports teams choke year after year, after year, after year….
What will I be gaining?
- Broader Perception
- Passport Stamps
- A Dream Fulfilled
What I’ll be giving up < What I’ll be gaining
That equation just made me ask myself why I’m waiting so long….
I just stole one of Paul’s Sam Adams Summer Ale just so I could try to slow myself down. It may have reversed the physical part of my restlessness, but there’s no stopping the runaway train that’s chugging full speed in my mind right now.
Sometimes, I think restlessness reveals the hidden monster in your brain that’s been dying to throw out everything you think you should be doing and replace it with everything you’ve dreamt to do.
…and my monster is having a field day right now. Can’t say I mind.
When will I realize that what seems like a possibly risky or “bad” idea keeps gaining traction because it’s the only true idea that’s worth my time?
Do you know the feeling? Have you suppressed it like I have?
I think I’m going to go watch re-runs of “The Amazing Race” right now and give my monster a healthy dose of steroids.
Tick tock. Tick tock.
Are you itching to get out? What is it that’s holding you back?
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