Does your significant other “fan your flame?”
I cannot express to you in words how important that is in helping me going after my big freakin’ dream.
To the family and friends who know me well, I talk about a lot of things I want to do…and I’ve wanted to do these things since like, 5 years old. I have a friend who jokes with me about this all the time. We’ve been friends for about 10 years now and he knows very well that I want to experience everything under the sun, and that I’ve been thinking of these things since I was kid.
I want to surf in Fiji, hike Mt. Everest, ride a bicycle across the United States, ride a raft down the Mississippi River, skydive with a wing suit…and the list just goes on and on.
These days, my friend and I will sit and talk about life, the things we want to do, and he’ll mention something he’d like to experience and then smugly remark, “Let me guess, you’ve wanted to do this since you were like 5 years old?”
He says it EVERY time.
80% of the time he’s right…I’ve already thought about it.
I just got married 8 months ago, and guess what? Nothing will change about those dreams.
I’m still the 5-year-old kid who dreams big dreams and wants to experience as many things as possible while I’m alive on earth (which is about 70 more years)…and I’m still going to talk about them, and I’m ACTUALLY going to DO them!
Some of you, probably most of you (80/20 rule), are scoffing, “Yeah right! Not anymore now that you’re married. You’re going start to taking on more responsibilities, then you’ll have a family, house, cars and all these things you wanted to do won’t happen. Those dreams were for your youth; she’s going to want you to settle it down a bit. Sorry Chad, your time has passed.”
On the contrary my fellow dreamers! (said with an English accent).
I married this woman because she fans my flame.
What do I mean by this?
I’ll do my best to explain. Everybody has the burning desire within him or her about something they love to some degree. Whenever you think about the thing that you’re passionate about and excites you, your heart starts to swell and the desire begins to burn. Think of it like a fire in your soul, right at the center of your heart. When you think about immersing yourself in your passion, that flame within you burns bright and hot.
Trying to write about it is tough, but you must think of those times where you imagine your passion and your chest burns with excitement, with that overwhelming intensity as if you are already there experiencing what you’ve dreamed about.
It’s amazing to experience that feeling on your own, but what if there was somebody who made it burn hotter and brighter? How amazing would that be?
Let me tell you something. It’s A-MAZING!
Even though there are times when I sound ridiculous with my ideas, those ideas are still a part of who I am, and getting the chance to accomplish those ideas lights that fire in my soul.
Stacie, my super-freakin’-awesome wife, is like a lifelong fire bellow….you know, the old school fan that people used to make a fire burn hotter and brighter?
She fans my flame by intently listening with genuine interest in EVERY dream that I have, even if she might think (at first) that the dream is a bit outrageous, like wingsuit skydiving. She at least let’s me feel as if my idea is just as valuable to her as it is me.
She goes beyond listening by actively participating in my dreams, by asking me questions, and discussing the ways we can accomplish my dreams together.
Taking it another step further, Stacie will start to take action on her own for MY dreams. These actions can be as simple as paying attention to things she finds in a store, in a book, online, or another resource that she thinks will help me accomplish this dream.
Finally, she helps me take action, preserve through adversity, helps me solve problems, and provides words of much need encouragement.
On my own, I believe that I can accomplish all the dreams I have.
With her fanning my flame…I know I will.
And trust me, she wants me to accomplish what I talk about because if I don’t walk my talk then she’s gonna look like the fool for marrying me. This photo doesn’t help.
The fire in your soul may burn hot today, but imagine what happens when you have someone next to you helping you fan your flame.
Now I’m not saying you have to have a significant other to accomplish your dreams. See Jake and Paul.
What I’m saying is this, whether you dream of being a baker, a writer, a chef, or something else, I hope the person you’re with is fanning your flame…and vice versa.
Stacie loves me for my dreams. More importantly she loves me because I ACTUALLY attempt to accomplish them. Most importantly, she loves me because I fan her flame to help her accomplish her dreams, too.
Make sure your significant other fans your flame!
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